It was this time last year that I felt it.
Kerr was fresh home from the hospital & we were on Cloud 9! Our whole world had changed for the better & we knew we had received one of the greatest gifts of our lives.
But deep down inside there was something stirring. I cried about it multiple times & begged the Lord to take it from me. This deep feeling of anxiety always hovering, like a bad dream. I wanted to be a mom & a business owner but wasn’t sure how to put the two together. I was scared that I would fail at one or worse – both & the whole world would come crashing down around me.
One day I was knee deep in laundry as tears poured down my face. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up. I had put high standards on myself for the tasks I needed to complete while also keeping our office up to speed & keeping another human alive!! I heard the Lord speak over me:
“Grace & Peace, my daughter! Slow down & savor!”
As I sat down, I soaked in what this means. I felt peace wash over me. It sounds crazy doesn’t it? But what I truly felt was the Lord reminding me, just like a little child – that I am HIS & that He sees me, knows me, & has paid for it all. While I was whirling around like a tornado, I was missing Him. He died for these moments so that I could fully cling to Him. He is our portion & strength.
This past summer I turned 30 & still felt the Lord washing me in “Grace & Peace” every day. For my 30th birthday, Ryland took me to the tattoo parlor & I sat in the chair while telling the story of these words to the tattoo artist! He smiled back at me, “This will mean a lot to your son one day when he sees these words & knows that you drew close the Lord when everything was in transition …”
GRACE – I can cast my cares & anxieties on Him.
PEACE – He has paid for my life so I can live with full confidence & assurance in Him!
Grace & Peace to you today, friend! No matter where you are, He sees you & loves you so much!